Quotes About Sex

The only unnatural sex act is one which you cannot perform.  ~ Alfred Kinsey


You use sex to express every emotion except love.  ~ Woody Allen


Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.  ~ George Burns


No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~ Abraham Lincoln


When it comes to sex, and everything else, the male's great fear is of failure, and the female's is of not being loved.  ~ Irma Kurtz


Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.  ~ Woody Allen


The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.  ~ Phyllis Diller


There will be sex after death; we just won't be able to feel it.  ~ Lily Tomlin


Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.  ~ Woody Allen


The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.  ~ William B. Yeats


I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.  ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor


To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent.  She can't wait to disprove it.  ~ Cary Grant


Sex is emotion in motion.  ~ Mae West


If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.  ~ Fran Lebowitz


It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.  ~ Marilyn Monroe


Men get laid, but women get screwed.  ~ Quentin Crisp


Personally, I know nothing about sex, because I have always been married.  ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor


The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.  ~ Leonardo da Vinci


Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right.  ~ Woody Allen


What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.  ~ Edward Dahlberg


Do you wanna see something swell.  ~ John Lovitz


I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.  ~ George Burns


Sex is the great amatuer art.  ~ David Cort


The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.  ~ Brendan Francis


Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.  ~ Lewis Grizzard


The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.  ~ Woody Allen


Sex - the poor man's polo.  ~ Clifford Odets


After ecstasy, the laundry.  ~ Zen saying


Is it wrong to fake orgasm during masturbation?  ~ Lotus Weinstock


All animals are sad after coitus except the female human and the rooster.  ~ Claudius Galen


We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.  ~ Lily Tomlin


Geniuses and supergeniuses always make their own rules about sex as on everything else; they do not accept the monkey customs of their lessers.  ~ Robert A. Heinlein


Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.  ~ Oscar Wilde


An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.  ~ Aldous Huxley


Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.  ~ Woody Allen


Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!  ~ George Bernard Shaw


Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.  ~ Mae West


There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.  ~ Norman Mailer


A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.  ~ Gloria Steinem


Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.  ~ Deepak Chopra


Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying 'You gave me the wrong key!  ~ Anaïs Nin