Lily Tomlin Quotes

Lily Tomlin is an American comedian and actress who rose to instant fame after appearing on the television comedy show “Laugh-In”. She began her career as a stand-up comedian in nightclubs. Her first television appearance was on the Merv Griffin Show in 1965. She won the hearts of television viewers with the offbeat characters she created.  Tomlin has won many awards for her talent, including four Emmys and two Tony Awards.

I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.  ~ Lily Tomlin

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.  ~ Lily Tomlin

We're all in this alone.  ~ Lily Tomlin

The best mind altering drug is the truth.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.  ~ Lily Tomlin

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?  ~ Lily Tomlin

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?  ~ Lily Tomlin

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.  ~ Lily Tomlin

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.  ~ Lily Tomlin

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?  ~ Lily Tomlin

If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed!  ~ Lily Tomlin

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.  ~ Lily Tomlin

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.  ~ Lily Tomlin

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