W.C. Fields Quotes

Date of Birth: January 29, 1880    Date of Death: December 25, 1946

William Claude Dukenfield used the name W.C. Fields when he began his juggling tramp comedy act at the age of fifteen. He performed in churches, theater and vaudeville, and eventually entertained with his famous characters on radio and in films. The characters that he played, such as the alcoholic egotistical women, children and dog hater actually had people believing that he was that character.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.  ~ W.C. Fields

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.  ~ W.C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.  ~ W.C. Fields

I like children. If they're properly cooked.  ~ W.C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.  ~ W.C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.  ~ W.C. Fields

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.  ~ W.C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.  ~ W.C. Fields

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.  ~ W.C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.  ~ W.C. Fields

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.  ~ W.C. Fields

I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it.  ~ W.C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.  ~ W.C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.  ~ W.C. Fields

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